Ramune is an unusual carbonated soft drink from Japan. It comes in a variety of flavors including peach, melon, and lychee.
Ramune's codd-neck bottle is vacuum sealed by a marble. When you use the provided plunger to dislodge the marble the soda can explode out the top. Even if you don't shake it.
Getting to that point can be difficult. Even with four-step directions printed on the back. You'll have fun watching newbies trying to open one. It's also nearly impossible to open if you throw away the plunger cap. Unless you have a pen, or you know, ingenuity.
To drink Ramune you have to keep the marble away from the neck so it doesn't block the flow.
I'm scared for people like you, who haven't tried it yet, getting stranded in the desert with an unopened bottle of Ramune. You should start practicing.
You can find Ramune in Asian restaurants or grocery stores. You can find Coca-Cola everywhere.
The April 3, 1882 Assassination of Jesse James is archived by the NY Times. It's pretty absurd. You can read all about it if you want, because you're morbid. The NY Times links are at the bottom.
Here are the particulars. Jesse James has breakfast with Robert and Charlie Ford. Probably silver dollar pancakes, 'cause them boys is greedy.
After the scrumptious meal Jesse James utters, "It's an awfully hot day." as he takes off his coat and vest, "I guess I'll take off my pistols for fear somebody will see them if I walk in the yard." He unbuckles his belt that contains a Smith & Wesson and a Colt revolver and tosses them on the bed.
He picks up a dusting-brush, stands on a chair with his back to the brothers and starts dusting a picture on the wall. Robert and Charlie draw their weapons. "Even in that motion, quick as thought, there was something which did not escape the acute ears of the hunted man. He made a motion as if to turn his head to ascertain the cause of that suspicious sound, but too late. A nervous pressure on the trigger, a quick flash, a sharp report, and the well-directed ball crashed through the outlaw's skull." That's right, Robert Ford killed Jesse James with a ball. A hard metal ball shot from a gun, but still.
The murder weapon was a pearl-handled Colt .45. A gift presented to Robert by Jesse James, only days earlier. Not only did he cowardly shoot a man in the back, he also re-gifted. Which is generally frowned upon.
Mrs. James heard the shot from the kitchen and ran to his aide. She sees Robert and Charlie scampering over the fence and yells out, "Robert you have done this; come back." Robert hollers back, "I swear to God I did not." He did.
The boys were jailed, put on trial and sentenced, "'You, each of you, shall on May 19, 1882 be taken to some convenient place and be hanged by the neck until you are dead.'" Why isn't anyone ever hanged by the balls? Conveniently, the Ford Bros. are pardoned the same day, by Governor Crittenden.
After the trial Robert and Charlie lampooned Jesse James' assassination on stage. Surprisingly, the show grew stale. "They were advised by theatrical people to be careful of their money, as their show could not hope to retain its popularity; but they insisted that their play, "The Brother's Vow; or the Bandit's Revenge," was good for a 50 years' run. Last January their dramatic career came to an end in this city [St. Louis], and since then they have been financially broken."
In 1883 Robert Ford tried bringing the production to Mr. Kelly's National Theatre in Philadelphia. "When Mr. Kelly sat down to answer this application his evil genius whispered in his ear that it would be very funny to write, in effect, that there was no opening this year for the company, "but in July, 1982," he would be truly happy to let the young men display themselves in his house."
Jo sent a link for their game Grannie-Fu! You can check it out under Games at Ice Cream Bunny.
I personally love Feels Like under Animation. Boom, Si Señor!
I'm tired of calling Shia Labeouf... Shia Labeouf. Instead, I dub thee... Sha-Boof!
5 Min. Man vs. Wild is on hiatus. If this news troubles you, let me know. It took a full workday to do the Copper Canyon episode and I think my time could be better spent elsewhere. Like writing recaps of According to Jim.
And finally, I was amused to find out Frank Lloyd Wright's son, John Lloyd Wright was the inventor of Lincoln Logs. Was Ole Kirk Christiansen (the inventor of Legos) Frank's secret Danish love-child? Only the little plastic people know.
This is why you should subscribe to ONN. Hilariously high-quality news segments with great writing, actors and production values. Granted I learned how to do 3D Logos and Type on the first day of my computer animation course, but still, this stuff looks awesome. It's hard not to laugh when you see, "STILL AHEAD: Serial killer taunts police with weekly podcast."
P.S. Keep an eye on the news crawl at the bottom, to find lines like, "SOLDIER'S REMAINS REDEPLOYED TO IRAQ".
"The Onion News Network has set the standard for globe-encompassing 24-hour television news since it was founded in December, 1892. The network boasts channels in 171 languages and can be viewed in 4.2 billion households in 811 countries."
Just in time for the finale. Parvati Shallow was a contetant on CBS's Survivor: Cook Islands. Before her appearance on network television, she took part in a boxing program created by Perfect 10 Magazine. Perfect 10 is a quarterly men's magazine featuring all natural models in various states of undress. Parvati was cut from the original airing of the program, but has resurfaced on the DVD. Here are some clips from the Perfect 10 Model Boxing DVD. According to the uploader "...you get a taste of what she has to offer but you have to see what else is uncovered on this DVD." and according to an uploader at YouTube "Parvati is one of the
models you can see all of on the DVD. I mean all of her..this is a
great collection models, the boxing is just the beginning stick around
for the photo shoots." Perhaps she did get all kinds of naked. These clips only confirm she posed in bikinis in slow-mo.
A few more clips after the jump.
34 year old soccer legend Mia Hamm is expecting twins during Spring '07. No, she's not the one who ripped her shirt off during the World Cup. That was Brandy Chastain, who went on to have a mildly successful career escaping from straight-jackets.
MLB player Nomar Garciaparra, 33, has been credited with the assist.
Expect a short feature in your favorite magazine soon with Mia Hamm sporting a pregnant belly painted like a soccer ball.
You can also expect clever quotes typeset in white that reference soccer, from her revealing interview about life after soccer. Like "I Leaned over to Nomar and said...these babies can kick!" or "When it comes to discipline we either pull a red card, or it's three strikes and you're out."
This evening I had the pleasure of attending a great reading in Chicago by the magnificent John Hodgman. I'd never been to a reading before so I wasn't sure what to expect. Balloons, confetti, or streamers? I'm fairly certain I will never see another reading similar to John Hodgman's. If only because he had a feral mountain man by the name of Jonathon Coulton playing guitar. I doubt this will be a common staple of other book readings.
The event lasted about an hour and contained a sensory overload of delight. I don't wish to ruin the program for anyone who might still have the chance to see it, so I will merely mention in passing some of the topics covered and events witnessed. I can safely say, Hodgman and Coulton did indeed come out on stage, though at your particular reading a stage may not be available. Topics covered included a mall, lobsters, jokes, a celebrity guest-voice, liqueur, being book-ish, cocktails, The Daily Show, walkie-talkies, outdoor lovemaking, and of course hoboes.
After the performance ended, the walkie talkie used during the Q&A was sitting on the table next to me. I hesitantly picked it up uncertain whom to return the lost child to.
Outside the theatre, Mr. Hodgman signed copies of his books. Nobody knows what happened to the master print. When I got to the table, I picked up a complimentary stick of chalk to make my own Hobo sign and handed the walkie-talkie back to Mr. Hodgman. He thanked me and rifled through his bag looking for the other two walkie-talkies. I introduced myself, he signed the book and thanked me again for returning the walkie-talkie. As I was walking away he asked what hurty elbow dot com was (I was wearing my awesome iron-on t-shirt). I mumbled something to the effect of "It's my site. It's a humor site." I probably should have said, "It's my site. I made Frank Lloyd Wright's Gingerbread House." Since everyone seems to love Frank Lloyd Wright's Gingerbread House. Anyway, he said he'd check it out and thanked me for coming out. I'm pretty sure I forgot the important things like thanking him for writing a great book (It really is great. You should buy it.) and shaking his hand.
When I left the building a thunderstorm greeted me with rain, thunder, a spot of hail, and a homeless man. I know he was homeless because he ran across the street yelling, "I'm homeless. Do you have any food? I'm homeless." Perhaps if he said, "I'm hungry. Do you have any food? I'm hungry." I may have given him some food, but instead I was thinking about how I could build him a home. I simply responded with an inaudible, "Sorry. Don't have any food." Would it have been John Hodgman's wish for me to have given the homeless man the complimentary hobo chalk I had tucked safely under my sweatshirt? I may never know.
For John Hodgman's safety I blurred out his signature in the photo below. He appears to take a stand against cursive. Should the day come when his signature is featured on the world's currency, I will politely un-doctor this photo.
Complete John Hodgman Knowledge Below.
Media in Multiples:
The A-Team was without a doubt, a definite cult classic among Mr. T. fans. Syndication allowed the show to maintain popularity over the years since its debut in 1983. Thanks to a tip from XCohn we can all enjoy a rather funny spoof of The A-Team called, well, The B-Team. It features Simon Cowell, The Olsen Twins, Kevin Federline, and Mr. T. These videos were produced by Flycell, Inc.
"Launched in November of 2004, Flycell empowers mobile lifestyles by delivering personalized infotainment on the fly - unique and custom information, entertainment and more - to mobile users across the US."
That's right, they define this as infotainment. Apparently you will be entertained by, and learn a great deal from puppets and B-List celebrities. Prepare to be infotained...
Will printed criticism of Dane Cook affect his insane popularity? Probably not, because Dane Cook fans can't read?
Dane Cook, pain-free comedian
"Comedians aren't supposed to be happy, just the opposite, but Dane Cook is the Disneyland of comics: He's the happiest, most uncomplicated place on Earth." [L.A. Times]
"With a big HBO deal, astronomical album sales and countless fans, Dane Cook may be the hottest comedian in years. So where is the laughter?" [Salon]
Click the Salon advertisement to read the whole article.
Of course there's always the old Dane Cook stole material from Louis C.K. argument, but really, it turned out to be a win-win situation for both of them (HBO's Lucky Louie, Tourgasm, and Vicious Circle). Listen to Louis C.K. and Dane Cook's Similar Material.